A Farewell To (my) Arms

Please forgive the typos, as I am currently typing this with my nose. My arms are dangling uselessly by my side. Or, at least, I think that they are. That's where I last saw them. I am concerned that while I sleep tonight they will re-enervate and commence to  beating me senseless. I mean, it would only be fair and I wouldn't begrudge them too much.

Tonight was Arms & Shoulders with a side order of Ab Ripper X. Yeah. Like my arms needed more cause to hate me. As it was today, I had a brief panic attack when I got stuck in the bathroom at work because I was not actually aware how HEAVY the door was. (No more going in there without my cell phone to text for help!) For that matter, who the hell is in charge of making pens, because HOLY SH*T those things are weighty!! I started out this morning, trying to get out of bed to get the alarm turned off before it woke anyone, but that entailed pulling myself out of my bed using both my arms and my abs, so, needless to say, by the time I was up, so was everyone else.

I am looking forward to the day when I am not quite so wrapped up in my physical pain and might actually be able to write about something else. Like, say, Bishop and Audrey getting baths last night and Audrey heckling Bishop, "Bishop!! Haha, you have a peeeeenis! A peeeeeenis, haha!!" and Bishop responding with, "Oh yeah? Well you have a PAJAMA! Ha HA!". Audrey looked at him and said, "No, I have a booty and a booty-butt!"  I think it is officially time for separate baths. And a pronunciation lesson.